Maybe if we focused on being light & less on the dark, we might actually see things change.― Michael M. Rose

Here this week, I have been challenged each and every morning with a daily devotion titled, The Value of Knowing Jesus. After I read the lesson, I am left with these closing thoughts.

It’s easy to only think about things from our limited perspective. Jesus pushes us to see differently. Allow yourself to be challenged. Allow your eyes to be opened. Allow your life to be changed. Go now, and let the value of knowing Jesus change the lens which you see the world.

Throughout the day, I keep hearing these words play over in my mind. Allow yourself to be challenged. Allow your eyes to be opened. Allow your life to be changed. 

A recent unexpected turn of events is currently challenging me and my way of thinking. It was brought to my attention that I have several blind spots concerning beliefs and my way of thinking. A little time has passed and my mind has cleared itself of the thoughts and emotions that once caused me grief, and now I am starting to see his point of view.

This new-found knowledge did not come easy. I was truly not aware of my blind spots. I shed many, many tears over the last 24 hours. The truth hurts. I felt so bad that my limited way of thinking made a negative impact on someone very dear to my heart. The truth of the matter is that I do have some blind spots. I suffer from a black and white mentality, the left brain approach. How I see it is there is a problem and there is a solution. There is no gray area, no in-between.

I reason with logic, I focus on facts, I identify the problem, I find the solution, I am practical, and I am safe. I tend to side with the left side of the brain because I have been hurt very deeply by the world. This way of thinking protects me, keeps me safe, because I can define it and control it. I think this way personally, and I think this way professionally.

I would not say I am 100% left brained. Behind this curtain I have created for myself, lies a right brain girl. I am a believer. I am a dreamer with a wild imagination. I do at times find myself taking risks. Actually, I long to be more of right brain person which leads to a constant tug of war in my mind; which side of my brain gives in? Can’t I just live in both? Can’t I be logical, yet risk taking?

As I work through my questions and my hurts, I realize the answer lies in grace. Grace bridges the gap between the logical thinker and the risk taker. Grace gives an opportunity for the gray area. Grace opens itself up to imagination, possibilities, and belief. Grace leaves room to breathe, for the impossible, and the unknown. Grace gives you a way out.

Getting to this point, cost me a great deal. It cost me a precious relationship, one very dear to my heart. While I cannot change the past, I can only move forward in hopes there lies forgiveness and a little grace itself. And now that my eyes have been opened, I realize that I no longer want to live this way. I want to live in the gray, the unknown, the what-ifs. I don’t always want to know the answer or the outcome. I don’t want to define or control. I want to be impetuous, reckless, and I want to see the world through the lens of grace.

If my words resonate with you, may I leave you with this.

Allow yourself to be challenged. Allow your eyes to be opened. Allow your life to be changed.