The most important think in life is to learn how to give out love, and to let it come in. – Morrie Schwartz
A little over three weeks ago, I received an invitation to my 20 year Class Reunion. It is hard to believe that 20 years have passed since I was in high school.
I’ll be honest, I have not responded to the invitation. I’m just not so sure I want to see those I went to high school with. Or maybe what really is going on is that I’m not so sure I want them to see me.
According to society’s standards, I have not met the so-called benchmarks of life. I have a thriving career in which I am very proud of, but to date, I have never been married, nor have I birthed any children. Someone might ask, “What have you been doing for the last 20 years?”
Just like the invitation to my high school reunion, I wonder how many “other” invitations have remained unopened and not responded to. I wonder if I tossed them to the side like junk mail or maybe I passed them by thinking I was not good enough to accept.
In one of my daily devotionals, I read this. “May you invite God in to heal a deep soul wound that has plagued you for too long.” It was a statement buried deep in the message, but I rang loud and clear.
What if God has been knocking on the door of my heart all along and I just never let Him in? What if He was right there waiting for the invitation to come in and heal my fears of rejection and unworthiness? Those wounds that have haunted me for most of my life. What if all He wanted was to show me a little love.
Love is intrusive. It pops its head in without a notice or an invitation. It’s persistent and somewhat direct. But what I am learning is that it is gentle and kind. It’s chivalrous, it can hold you without touching you, it sends a word of encouragement, it puts a smile on your face, and it leaves you full yet empty when it is gone.
As I wrestle with the decision to accept the invitation to my 20 year reunion, I wrestle with the fear of opening myself back up again and letting myself be vulnerable to love. Do I accept the invitation or not?
According to invitation etiquette, when R.S.V.P. is written on a personal invitation, it isn’t an optional request. It means you must inform the hostess whether or not you will attend. I would never consider myself a rude person, so I guess I’d better respond with a “yes” 🙂
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