Too Afraid to Suffer

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For my life is simply unbearable without a bit of courage.– The Cowardly Lion

Coward – one who is not brave, one who fears many things. The word recently came to my mind as I was dealing with a confrontational issue with one I use to consider a close friend. I am a coward when it comes to this situation and especially when it comes to love.

When coward comes to mind, I immediately think of the Cowardly Lion from the Wizard of Oz. The Cowardly Lion was the last friend to join Dorothy on the journey to Oz. I find it ironic that on my last leg of the journey – a place of love- that a coward is joining me as well.

I thought my one word resolution – love – was going to be easily attainable. However, it’s the first month of exercising my word and I’m already faced with my first challenge – myself.

Admitting that I want love is not the problem. Carving out the space in my heart so love can fill it again is the challenge. It hurts and yes, I am the coward. I’m scared to love again, scared to break down the walls, and scared mostly that it won’t work out again.

I wish this fix was as simple as drinking “liquid” courage, but it is not. And as much as I want this, a man is not going to fall out of the sky either. In the end, the Cowardly Lion displays bravery in helping Dorothy defeat the Wicked Witch.  I can only hope as I continue to exercise this word, that I too might have the same outcome.

Cowards are not the ones who suffer from love. Cowards are the ones who don’t fall in love because they’re too afraid to suffer. – Unknown

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