Wrapping up 2012

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Today I am hesitant; hesitant to take down my Christmas tree. Christmas is more than a holiday, it is a frame of mind. A time filled with joy, magic, and a time to make new memories with loved ones and friends. I am sad to let that feeling go.

Typically, I keep my tree up to the new year, but I am feeling the pull to take it down today. It is time to let 2012 go and embrace what 2013 will bring.

My one word resolution for 2012 was connect. By choosing this word, I hoped that my heart would make the connection to the knowledge that was already present in my mind. I wanted to feel everything possible. I wanted to know everything possible. This word brought me many challenges, but changed me for the better.

  • I lost my job and endured unemployment for 5 months (second time around). Through that time, I spent time with a friend who provided a safe place (guilt and shame free) for me to be me (the good, bad, and the ugly).
  • I ran two half marathons – one in Austin, TX and one in Nashville, TN. I learned that my body still has miles to go before I am completely healthy.
  • I entered my book into another writing contest, but did not place. I learned that my book was not quite finished and I had to live out a few more chapters before it was complete.
  • A momma bird took residence in my Boston fern to give birth to her babies. Throughout the 6 week process, I learned that there is a process to freedom. You have to wait out the process before you can take flight.
  • I was deceived by people who I thought were my friends and I learned first hand who they truly were. Their actions allowed me to close the door guilt free. This created room for the new – positive and healthy new relationships.
  • I learned that the best Halloween costume is confidence and it never goes out of style.
  • I learned there is life outside of being broken. There is freedom, there is peace, and there is everlasting joy.
  • Most importantly, I learned that I would have never made these connections without my relationship with God. He made this word, connection, come to life, and provided profound revelation that has provided the foundation for an explosive 2013.

Whatever this year means for you, I hope it was a year of growth and another year of blessings.

Cheers to 2013!!

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To Make You Stronger

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I’ve come to trust not that events will always unfold exactly as I want, but that I will be fine either way. The challenges we face in life are always lessons that serve our soul’s growth. – Marianne Williamson

This little guy is my friend Asher. I spent nearly everyday with him during my last unemployment stint so I grew quite fond of him. 🙂

Asher and meI was dying to use my Christmas Story leg lamp cookie cutter and he was dying to help me bake, well, turn on the mixer that was full of flour. I’m grateful for Bounty the quicker picker upper. 🙂

Christmas Story Cookie Cutter 2After we finished baking (this cookie cutter was an epic fail, I might add), it was time for him to go to bed. Part of getting ready for bed also included taking his medicine. His mom was hesitant in giving it to him because earlier that day he *rejected it all over her. So, I had to be the “bad guy” and help his dad give him the medicine.

I held him tightly while dad worked on getting the medicine down. Of course, Asher cried, he kicked, he did everything in his power to resist the medicine. But we pursued on because we knew he needed his medicine to make him better.

It got me thinking (like I always do) about all the times my Father had to give me medicine in the form of closed doors, terminated relationships, heartache, jobs not received, jobs not renewed, and most importantly humility. As I kicked and screamed, and did everything in my power to resist, He held on. He knew how much stronger I would be for the medicine. I’m sure he felt bad for playing the “bad guy” just like I did with my little friend Asher.

Recently, I was reminded through the actions of another, the woman I use to be. A woman full of anxiety, stress, worry, and a constant need to be in control. At first, I was embarrassed and repulsed because that use to be me. But then I was grateful; grateful for all the *medicine that the Lord administered to me in order to make me free, at ease, and full of peace.

So as I make the journey to close out the year 2012, I am reminded of this…

Do not allow negative experiences to make you bitter. They should make you wiser, and with that wisdom you shall find joy. – Leon Brown

Merry Christmas 🙂

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