The Art of Rejection


I recently read that rejection and the fear of being rejected, is one of the highest stressors that people experience everyday.  To reject someone or something is to refuse, to throw back, decline, deny, or withhold something most likely in the form of love and/or acceptance.  Each one of these descriptions I know all too well.  It seems as if the act of rejection has had a long running stint in my life.  Just like a t.v show, it had its heightened days in syndication and now continuously plays in reruns, only I want this plot of the story to be put to rest.

No matter what angle you look at it, the plot was always the same.  Someone or something was always chosen over me.  To this day, I still struggle with why I wasn’t enough; nothing more, just plain ol’ me.  Not matter how you slice it, whether it was the abuser who was allowed to remain in the home, the fact that those appointed to protect me battled with drugs and alcohol, the worthless men that revolved in and out of my sister’s and my young life, the endless replies of “we went with another candidate”, those friends who decided to dissolve the friendship for reasons unknown, rejection was what I was served.

I know I am not alone here in this pit of rejection.  Jesus too felt this pain.  Isaiah 53:3 (NIV) says, “He was despised and rejected by men, a man of sorrows, and familiar with suffering. Like one from whom men hide their faces he was despised, and we esteemed him not.” 

The thing I constantly struggle with is forgetting, forgetting the memories, and forgetting the pain associated with those memories.   Clarissa Pinkola Estes once said,“This kind of forgetting does not erase the memory, it lays the emotion surrounding the memory to rest.”

I’ve been studying the steps of Jesus and trying to figure out how He handled and overcame rejection.  What I keep hearing is that He knew who He was in Christ.  He knew the truth about Himself and that truth is what he clinged to more than any other voice He heard. 

Now it is time for me to follow in His footsteps. 

“Until the desire to go forward becomes greater than the memories of past pain, you will never hold the power to create again. However, when the desire comes back into your spirit and begins to live in you again, it will release you from the pain.” ~ Unknown

I have made some memory cards with God’s truth on them (some are listed below). I will continue to study them until they resonate in my heart and that voice is all I hear. For then, that unwanted pain will finally be put to rest.

  • I am a child of God.
    • But to all who have received him–those who believe in his name–he has given the right to become God’s children … (John 1:12).
  • I am a friend of Jesus.
    • I no longer call you slaves, because the slave does not understand what his master is doing. But I have called you friends, because I have revealed to you everything I heard from my Father (John 15:15).
  • I have been justified and redeemed.
    • But they are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that is in Christ Jesus (Romans 3:24).
  • I have been accepted by Christ.
    • Receive one another, then, just as Christ also received you, to God’s glory (Romans 15:7).
  • I have been set free in Christ.
    • For freedom Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not be subject again to the yoke of slavery (Galatians 5:1).
  • Because of God’s mercy and love, I have been made alive with Christ.
    • But God, being rich in mercy, because of his great love with which he loved us, even though we were dead in transgressions, made us alive together with Christ–by grace you are saved (Ephesians 2:4-5)!
  • The peace of God guards my heart and mind.
    • And the peace of God that surpasses all understanding will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus (Philippians 4:7).
  • I have been made complete in Christ.
    • You have been filled in him, who is the head over every ruler and authority (Colossians 2:10).

“Dear to us are those who love us… but dearer are those who reject us as unworthy, for they add another life; they build a heaven before us whereof we had not dreamed, and thereby supply to us new powers out of the recesses of the spirit, and urge us to new and unattempted performances. ”  Ralph Waldo Emerson


The Defining Moment


The other day, a friend forwarded me a devotional titled “Defining Moments”.  The message was about those in the Bible who had experienced defining moments and had their lives forever changed.  The author talked about Peter walking on water, Daniel escaping the lions’ den, Joshua finally crossing into the Promise Land, and Shadrach, Mesach, and Abendigo who were untouched by the firy furnance.  The author further conveyed that these moments set the course for the remainder of their lives and each of the servants had years of preparation that led up to that moment. 

History captures many times of defining moments, for instance,

  • on April 14, 1912, the Titanic sank.
  • on October 24, 1929,  the Stock Market crashed
  • on December 7, 1941, Japanese attacked Pearl Harbor.
  • on August 17, 1977, Elvis died.
  • on January 28, 1986, Space Shuttle Challenger exploded *(I watched this on t.v).
  • on January 16, 1991, U.S. attacked Iraq.
  • on April 19, 1995, the Oklahoma City Bombing.
  • on April 20, 1999, shootings at Columbine High School
  • on September 11, 2001, an attack on U.S. known as the September 11th Attacks.
For those who were deeply affected by those moments, we would have to believe that those experiences were forever engraved into their soul.  Almost like it became a part of who they were/are and mapped out the direction of their remaining journey.
Something heavy continues to set with me and the feeling cannot be easily explained.  Have I reached my defining moment?  Have I missed it?  Is God still preparing me for it?
Have you had your defining moment?  If so, I would love to hear about it!