Reservoir of Pain

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When I think of a reservoir, I think of a place to store something, like a resource.  Wikepedia backs this up by stating that a reservoir is an artificial lake used to store water.  They further state that reservoirs are often created by building a reinforced dam, usually out of concrete, earth, rock, or a mixture across a river or stream. Once the dam is completed, the stream fills the reservoir.

I think we have internal reservoirs.  It is the catch all place where our memories, experiences, and feelings spill over. I would like to think that this reservoir is a positive place, but for most of us it represents pain and the memories/ feelings associated with this.  We visit this reservoir when situations trigger painful places in our past.  It relates to a previous blog I entitled “The Residual Effect“.  It’s the stuff that’s left over that strives to find a place in our existence.  It just doesn’t want to go away when we so badly want it to.  
Paul strived to put the past behind him. In Philippians 3:13-14 he said,  “But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.”

How do we “press on” when we keep getting tripped up by the past?

I can honestly say I do not have an answer and I desperately wish I did!  The text that was placed before me yesterday, brings insight to my present situation and I would like to share it with you.  It comes from the Introduction to the book of Ephesians ~ The Message. 



What we know about God and what we do for God have a way of getting broken apart in our lives. The moment the organic unity of belief and behavior is damaged in any way, we are incapable of living out the full humanity for which we were created. Paul’s letter to the Ephesians joins together what has been torn apart in our sin-wrecked world. He begins with an exuberant exploration of what Christians believe about God, and then, like the surgeon skillfully setting a compound fracture, “sets” this belief in God into our behavior before God so that the bones- belief and behavior – knit together and heal. Once our attention is called to it, we notice these fractures all over the place. There is hardly a bone in our bodies that has escaped injury, hardly a relationship in city or job, school or church, family or country that isn’t out of joint or limping in pain.

So the answer appears to be that God has to bring upon the healing.  Our mind and soul is so full of fractures and we are walking around in invisible pain until it spills out in our reactions and expressed emotions.  He will have to “reset” the past, which will most definitely bring upon pain (temporary pain).  Revelation 3:19 says, “Those whom I (dearly and tenderly) love, I tell their faults and convict and convince and reprove and chasten (I discipline and instruct them). So be enthusiastic and in earnest and burning zeal and repent (changing your mind and attitude).” 

We have to celebrate the work that God is doing in us, which is a task in itself.  Going through the work is hard enough yet alone, being happy about it.  But if we don’t allow God to heal us, then we will keep relying on the reservoir.  The reservoir of pain only allows half of our heart to be involved in the relationship and half of ourself to participate in the situation/experience. 
 
I think it is time that we fully join the world and live out the life that God intended for us.  May we celebrate together all He has done and all He will continue to do.
 
Love in Christ,
Nichole

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