There is no denying that I am an avid fan of music.  Music moves me; stimulates my soul.  I especially love to tie my favorite songs into my writing.  I think the message is better portrayed.   The latest song by Zac Brown Band titled, “Free as We’ll Ever Be” is one that plays over and over in my mind. 

Maybe the portrait portrayed doesn’t symbolize freedom to you, but it sure does to me.  Living on the beach, relying on love, is exactly where I want to be.   I know that is not an ideal situation and there is so much more to freedom such as not worrying about the opinion of others, not worrying about how you are perceived, being debt free, expressing yourself they way you want (like a tattoo of your favorite scripture), wearing what you want, no longer being concerned with pleasing others.  The beauty of freedom is you get to decide what it is for you. 

Oscar Wilde once said, “A man who is master of himself can end a sorrow as easily as he can invent a pleasure. I don’t want to be at the mercy of my emotions. I want to use them, to enjoy them, and to dominate them.”

My whole life, I have been trying to gain freedom from my past; a past that was controlled by my emotions, other people; a past that resulted in the influence / effects of damaged and hurting people. As a young child, I took the vow that no one, I mean no one, would ever hurt me again. That vow led to me to the constant need of being in control. I became independent (almost too independent), and closed off from deep personal relationships. I did not share much information and had a private life.

I truly believe that the trials I endured from March of 2009 until March of 2010 were allowed by God so I could finally experience freedom. Up until that point, I never asked for help unless in a desperate situation. When you find yourself unemployed and barely making ends meet, you have no other choice but to ask for help and rely on others. The sense of control was quickly removed. As painful as it was to let go, the reward (freedom) was far greater. David cried out in Psalm 118:5, “In my anguish I cried to the LORD, and He answered by setting me free.

As I closely watch the actions of another, one who is in need of constant control, I know I want a life a freedom that much more. That need for control is unpleasant and it causes stress on others. It saddens me to know that I was once that person, but I also find great comfort in knowing that I will one day I will be totally set free from that bondage.  “If the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed.” (John 8:36)

So will it really matter if the house is not perfect for my guests? Will it really matter if I spill something or break something? Will it matter if the bed isn’t made everyday? My answer is no.  I use to be so consumed by these petty things that it squeezed the life out of me.  That need for control robbed me of relationships, growth, happiness, peace, and joy. 

In Psalm 86:12-13 David said, “I will praise you, O Lord my God, with all my heart; I will glorify your name forever. For great is your love toward me; you have delivered me from the depths of the grave.”  As Beth Moore frequently says, “I pray that you learn from me in the laboratory and not the field trip!”  If something is robbing you from a life a freedom, cry out and let your Father set you free!!

Love in Christ,
Nichole