I am three days shy of hitting 3 months of unemployment or what I refer to as faux retirement. I am about to lose my mind. I feel like I’m in solitary confinement. It appears that my social skills need sharpening as well. My friends have been inviting me over for dinner (more than normal) and it takes me awhile to get in the groove of things. I feel like I’ve been in a deep sleep and everything is foggy. I cannot communicate clearly and my vocabulary is diminishing at this very second. When I’m at their house, I jump at any chance of manual labor. I will wash dishes, mop, dog sit, or baby sit just so that I feel like I am an active member of society and that my brain is still receiving a stimulating workout. This is only half the battle. Since I’m not generating any money, things are getting down to the wire. There are days when I feel like a complete failure. I apply for numerous jobs everyday and cannot land an interview. The other day JC Penney advised me that I am not capable of replenishing shelves at their store. Seriously??? I managed a Kroger store at the age of 22. Now, I’m not qualified to work in a department store as a clerk? What on earth is going on here?

Today, I was reading some of my favorite scriptures and came across this…”No moment from my God is a rock of burden. Its just a rock waiting to be broken apart into stepping stones.” I don’t know what direction I’m heading towards next, but I hope and pray that these stepping stones will support me and keep me afloat until His glory is revealed. Joyce Meyer once said, “There are times when God leaves huge question marks as tools in our lives to stretch our faith.” Man have I been stretched and I have the marks to prove it!! 2 Peter 3:8-9 says this, “But do not forget this on thing dear friends: With the Lord, a day is like a thousand years, and a thousand years are like a day. The Lord is not slow in keeping His promise, as some understand slowness.”

As I continue on this journey (trying my very best to stop looking behind me), I wonder do I have what it takes to be a rock…to be unweathered, unscathed by life’s storms. Can I hold on firmly to God’s truth and His promises for me or will I forgo the weathering and erosion process and be reduced to merely sand and silt? Hopefully I will be like the rock that Bob Segar has described below.

Love in Christ,
Nichole

Stood there boldly
Sweatin’ in the sun
Felt like a million
Felt like number one
The height of summer
I’d never felt that strong
Like a rock

I was lean and Solid everywhere
Like a rock
My hands were steady
My eyes were clear and bright
My walk had purpose
My steps were quick and light
And I held firmly
To what I felt was right
Like a rock

Like a rock,
I was strong as I could be
Like a rock, nothin’ ever got to me
Like a rock, I was something to see
Like a rock