Left Hanging in the Balance

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The more I study Joseph’s story, the more I feel connected with him. He was falsely imprisoned, but the Lord was with him. His imprisonment was a training period for God’s future plan for him. I feel like I am in prison, only I am able to leave. I leave everyday, but I know I must return. Reality knows that I need a paycheck to pay my mortgage, but this is way beyond a few bills each month. It is about finding the courage to walk in the doors of the school, knowing that I have been falsely accused, and still honoring my commitment to the kids that I have grown to love. I sacrifice myself for them.

During Joseph’s stay, he did not let the situation get the best of him. That is where the difference lies. I feel like my current situation is getting the best of me. One minute I am full of zeal and the very next second I am down in the pit desperately trying to claw my way out. Thank God for my dear friend “Sandpaper”. Every morning she sends me love and gives me a pep talk to face the day’s journey. She keeps me grounded when all I want to do is cave in and give up! We were talking about how our roles in this relationship continually change. When she has nothing but joy, I am down and vice versus. I feel like we are riding a virtual see saw and we can never find a place of rest…a place of balance. James 1:12 says, “Blessed is the man who remains steadfast under trial, for when he has stood the test he will receive the crown of life, which God has promised to those who love him.” Oh Father how I pray that with your strength, the ride will be over! We can STAND with both feet on the ground with true visibility of what lies ahead.

Love in Christ,

Nichole

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