They say to truly be able to serve and complete the work of Jesus, you have to have a story. You have to go through trials, devastation, disappointment, heartbreak, and even loss. How can you effectively minister to people if you cannot feel the depths of their pain? True compassion and empathy comes from understanding; both mental and physical. Today, God closed a mighty big door which has left me completely breathless. I am more confused than ever and I am left wondering what will come out of this? Nothing soothes my broken heart, but I know I must keep praying for peace beyond understanding. This is not the first time I have been in this place, nor will it be the last. This is just one of the many miles of my race; my journey to reach my God given destination.

I feel that with each step of this journey, I am one step closer to touching the hem of Jesus’ garment. I become more like Him everyday. I am getting closer because I choose to stay with Him, to press in, to ride the storm out so to speak. I am one step closer to completely understanding His pain because I have lived it. I can feel, taste the rawness of His wounds. I touch His bleeding side and my heart breaks. It is not through text that I understand and comprehend, it is through tears. I will never be able to truly comprehend the anguish He went through when He gave His life for me, but I can understand the sacrifice. There is a desire inside me that knows there are greater things on the other side and so much will be lost, if I give up now. I cannot speak for Jesus, but He must have felt the same thing.

2 Corinthians 4:8 says, “We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; we are perplexed but not in despair; we are persecuted but not abandoned; we are struck down, but not destroyed.” I have always held on to this scripture, but now it will be one that I savor! If you find your self in the midst of darkness and wonder which direction you should go, follow the light of your heart. Keep moving forward; pressing towards the mark. Don’t let the journey be a waste; stand strong through the storm awaiting the beauty on the other side!

Love in Christ,

Nichole