As I pack my things and get ready to say goodbye to the beach one last time, I can’t help but wonder if this feeling (peace/freedom) will accompany me on the journey home. Will it last? I wish there was a way to bottle it all up so I could capture its essence anytime I need it!
I have learned a lot on this journey. I have learned that I let circumstances consume me. There is no equal balance in my mind, body, and spirit. Other aspects of my life do not have a fighting chance! Whatever I’m going through (heartache, betrayal, disappointment) is simply what I feel and focus on 100%. I cannot see a glimpse of the sun poking its head out of the clouds, so to speak. I simply focus on the rain that has yet to come. I honestly do not know what will become of my current situation. Will I get my job back? Will my credibility be restored?
Today sitting at this table, drinking coffee and eating cold pizza (yes, you heard me correctly), I can honestly say that I really don’t care! I’m not being “ugly” when I say this, but those worries are gone. They have been tossed out and into the ocean and I don’t want the waves to bring them back. If this is what true freedom from worry feels like, then bring it on! Drown me in it please!! I’m ready to live without all this bondage and barriers. I want to know what it is like to truly be free! I want to be free to drink hazelnut coffee, eat cold pizza for breakfast, and say, “No thanks worry, I don’t need you today. Your days are over and this chapter is closed.”
Matthew 6:33-34 says, “Therefore, do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about its own things. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.” What is it that has you bogged down with worry? What chapters are left open that should be closed?
Love in Christ,